Signs Emotional Intimacy is Missing in Your Relationship

Learn why the spark is missing and why we tend to self-marginalize in romantic relationships.
Melancholy Woman experiencing lack of emotional intimacy

Have you ever met someone who says all the right things to you at all the right times? I mean, exactly what you want to hear? You make yourself available because you’re eagerly looking forward to every encounter with him.

He’s charming, intelligent, intriguing, and leaves you wanting more every time you interact with him… 

…but that’s the damn problem! That’s as far as it’s gone and you always want more. Every time you speak to him, joke and kiki with him, share your desires with him, you hang up or walk away feeling like he knows way more about you than you know about him.

You don’t want to rock the boat by pressing him for more because you love every moment you have together. But, on the other hand, you’re pining with a deep and burning desire to have more of him. You want to know him intimately, every single thought, memory, fear, and dream.

You want to know the inside of his eyelids, the back of his knees, every strand on his head. 

You want him to know and understand you. Way deep down.

But despite every single effort of getting to know him better, he remains distant, guarded, and keeps things surface between you.

You ask yourself: 

How could the passion have fizzled out already? 

We haven’t even gotten started! 

You doubt yourself

Is it me? Are my expectations too high?

Am I not sexy enough? Interesting enough? 

Do I talk too much? 

Am I moving too quickly?

You marginalize yourself

I’m out of my league. 

I’m not pretty enough to compete with the type of women he’s dated before me. 

I have too much baggage and I’m not worth the time it takes to unpack it all. 

You leverage yourself:

I’m frustrating him.

I’ll be more quiet, he doesn’t need to hear my every opinion.

I’ll be more submissive. He deserves to be honored and catered to. My needs don’t matter.

Whatever it takes. I’ll take being with him over being alone any day.

Sis, I’m here to tell you, you are someone’s living dream. Someone’s deepest prayer.

Just as you are.

The one who makes getting to know every part of you:

the inside of your eyelids

the backs of your knees

and each strand of your crown

the highest priority, not an added bonus.

He is the one you won’t have to change a damn thing for. And he’s coming.

Keep hope alive. Work on believing in yourself and don’t forget to love on yourself in the meantime.

With deepest love,




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